Love & Desperation
by Sesshoumarulover111
Summary: Sesshoumaru is gone and has left Kagome lost and without a mate. Plunged into a state of depression will Kagome find a way to cope? Or is losing him finally the end of the line for her?
1. Depression

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters. I also do not get any money from writing these stories this is all for fun

Okay! This is my second story I am attempting to complete. I hope you enjoy it. This one isn't a one shot but a chapter story. I must warn you though that the first few chapters are going to be very short but as the story goes on the chapter should get longer.

This chapter is a bit depressing but this story is only a slight dark fic. Okay enough babble from me. Please enjoy.

Chapter 1: Depression

Suffocating, that's how it felt when he wasn't there. It had been two years since he passed away and she had yet to begin a recovery. She was lost, confused and absolutely lonely.

Her friends kept telling her it wasn't healthy. They told her how she needed to let go. 'I know it's hard Kagome but you have to try. He wouldn't want you to live this way.' She would never respond though. How could she when she felt so numb? How could she live? How could she go on with her life? How could she care about anything? Why go to work? Everything she did and was and achieved, she did for him, for them.

They didn't understand. He was her life, her everything. With him gone nothing she did had a purpose. He was her motivation. They worked hard to get this life they had together. They were supposed to live forever TOGETHER! _'How could you leave me?' _she thought.

'_I need you Sesshoumaru!' HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME?' _

Sitting on the bed in the spare room of their house staring at the wall she saw her vision go cloudy. She was crying again. It was what she did ever day for the past two years. She never went out anymore. She ate once a day and it was only because her best friend Sango came over and stared at her until she finished the plate of food she brought over for her.

She could tell Sango was getting drained. She wasn't intentionally difficult. She didn't want to drag her closest friend in the world down with her. She was the only person she had now. Sure she had her other friends from high school that would come over every couple months to scold her. But they weren't there.

She really didn't want to hurt Sango she just could bring herself to care. When she did begin to feel better she would get a strong feeling of guilt in the pit of her stomach and would plummet into a state of extreme melancholy again. She knew he would be furious if he knew she would not allow herself to feel happy because of his absence. But again, this was something she could not bring herself to care about. '_It's not like he's here to chastise me about it anyway.' _She thought.

That thought just made the tears fall even faster. She missed her mate terribly. She hugged her knees to her chest gently rocking herself.

"What am I suppose to do?" Looking up at the ceiling she whispered. "If there's someone up there that cares PLEASE help me." She stayed looking up as if she was waiting for a response. When she got none she shouted, tears streaming down her cheek creating new lines over the ones that hard dried.

"**YOU TOOK MY MATE AWAY FROM ME AND LEFT ME ALL ALONE! I GAVE UP MY LIFE IN THE FUTURE TO TAKE CARE OF MY RESPONSIBILITY OF THE JEWEL IN THE FEUDAL ERA! I MATED A DEMON JUST TO HELP BRING PEACE BETWEEN DEMON AND HUMANS! SO YOU BASTARDS BETTER HELP ME!" **

She collapsed on the bed pulling her knees even tighter to her body the now trembled because of the intensity of her sobs. "I just want my mate back." She whispered. "I just want my mate back…."

As if on cue she heard the doorbell ring. She jumped up thinking maybe someone decided to answer her prayer after all. She yanked the door open. The bright light of the hallway blinding her but she still ran. She felt exhausted. Then the doorbell ring again. She ran down the stairs as fast as she could cursing Sesshoumaru for wanted such a huge house all the way. The doorbell rang again just as she arrived in front of it. Reaching out for the knob she could feel her heart racing, thumping against her ribcage. Slowly she opened the door shielding her eyes for the sun outside.

The first thing to catch her eyes was his long white locks. Slowly she looked up the adrenaline that was pumping in her system running out. She looked in his face golden orbs meeting chocolate brown eyes.

Before she had a chance to get a word out her exhaustion caught up with her and she felt herself falling, her world going black. Before she lost all consciousness she felt arms around her.

'_Damn!'_ was her last thought.

A/N: okay that's the end of the first chapter. Like I said, the first few chapters are going to be pretty short. The second chapter should be longer than this one though. Constructive criticisms are welcomed.

Sesshoumarulover111


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: To all my readers I thought I should let you guys know why I have not updated in such a long time. Well my uncle passed away really shockingly and we just recently had his funeral. With everything that has been going on I haven't had time to really focus on anything. So please bear with me I promise you that I will update. Right now we are trying to work out things with his wife and three kids he left behind its hard because the oldest is only 9 and his wife wasn't and still isn't working. As I said I promise I will update it will just be a while. Thanks for understanding.

Sesshoumarulover 111


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